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Film review: killer yacht party (2006).

The Black Saint 05/10/2015 Uncategorized

 This is one VIP list you don’t want to be on! LA club people have a ‘killer’ party on a private yacht, except the boat is haunted by the original owner Samantha who died on the maiden voyage.

This will probably be the shortest review that The Black Saint will ever write. I’ve seen a whole bunch of movies in my lifetime. Some good ones..some bad ones & some that straddle the line between the two. Not good enough to be called good but not quite bad enough to be called bad either. They exist in a kind of cinematic purgatory, but they do have their fans nevertheless. But then there are movies like “Killer Yacht Party” which I hesitate to even call a movie. It’s more a bunch of scenes strung together by the flimsiest of plots. And most of the time the plot is ignored for a quick soft core sex scene to wake up those foolish enough to be watching it (I would be one of those fools), But I HAD to watch it, I didn’t choose to do so. You know the deal…evil editor loves to mock me with sh*t like this to review. I will get to him eventually, he can’t hide forever.

The movie you ask? Ostensibly it’s about a bunch of club goers who are dying to get on the “A” list for a very exclusive party to be held on a yacht. he names and the faces all began to look the same after about 10 minutes of this mess so whenever someone died, I just didn’t care. There are the usual stereotypes to be found at this party. The dumb blondes, the macho wanna be’s, the nice guys & the the spoiled ones as well. All of them you’ve seen in much better films than this one.

The issue at hand is that the luxury private yacht that the party is to be held on is haunted by Samantha, who originally owned the boat & died on it’s maiden excursion. So now Sammy wants the boat all to herself & starts offing people (offscreen mostly) helter skelter. The murders are pretty much par for the course, but if we can’t see anything but the aftermath, what’s to look forward to? I mean it is a horror movie, isn’t it? There is a fair share of blood splattering every so often but it isn’t nearly enough to satisfy any true gore hound. And the sex scenes are boring. Couldn’t they have at the very least, shown us a little more nudity? We get a fair to middling shot of some breasts & that’s about it. Even when a couple is having sex, they leave their clothes on. What’s the point? I kept telling myself “It’s got to get better”, but I had no such luck.

I’m not even going to disgrace this review by letting you guys know who stars in it or who wrote/directed it either. Unless you’re related to them you won’t care. And if you are related to them, you might want to distance yourself from them after watching this tripe. It’s filmed with what seemed to me to be a bunch of acting school students that just graduated & were really anxious to get a credit under their belt. All of them should demand a refund from whomever stole their tuition money because all of them suck. There is not one good performance in the film. At all.

The director knows how to frame a shot at least but his cinematographer can’t light a shot for sh*t. The film is murky looking throughout, even in the daytime scenes. You would think that we could get a nice shot of the sunrise or sunset since the film takes place on the yacht (mostly). But we don’t even get that. Just a bunch of incredibly stupid people who do incredibly stupid things in an incredibly stupid way. This is because of a incredibly stupid script that lacks any discernible scares. There is nothing scary about this film at all. A little spilled blood does not a horror movie make. They spill tons of blood on those medical shows on TV, they don’t call themselves horror shows do they? Nope, just “Medical Dramas”.

And to add insult to injury, the film ends with one of those incredibly slow end credit sequences where the credits creep down from the top of the screen to the bottom as some ersatz music plays. This is an obvious attempt to bring the running time to something close to 80 minutes at the very least. I’m figuring the film, sans credits, is about 74-75 minutes long. I’ve had longer bowel movements…they were scarier than this trash as well.

“Killer Yacht Party” gets the big zero shroud score from me. Usually, I give even the worst movies a 1/2 shroud because they managed to create & sell their product. I think that should count for something, not everyone can make a film. But I don’t want to encourage the makers of “Killer Yacht Party” to make another film. I mean, there are lots of fast food joints that need help out there. I’m sure McDonalds or Burger King is hiring, they always are…

Tags James C. Burns Kate Luyben Killer Yacht Party Piotr Uzarowicz Tony Besson

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Killer Yacht Party – DVD Review

Branden Chowen

May 22, 2011

DVD Reviews , Reviews

I’ve spent a lot of time with slasher films this past month. Most have been from the 1980s, when the slasher flick was king, but some have been more recent outings that pay homage to those films genre fans have come to adore. Killer Yacht Party , from Lloyd Kaufman’s Troma Entertainment, is one of the latter: a modern-day slasher film that exists because the filmmakers revere the ’80s horror scene. For better or worse, director Piotr Uzarowicz sticks closely to the established formula for the genre and Killer Yacht Party is stuffed with mediocre acting (for the most part), a slow-moving plot, and a questionable twist ending.

In Killer Yacht Party , Jane (Maggie Marion) has moved from Iowa to Los Angeles to start a new life as a songwriter. She lives with her sexy and promiscuous friend Lacy (Becky Boxer), who coaxes “Plain Jane” to accept an invite to a yacht party they’ve received. Unfortunately they don’t realize that the boat may be haunted until it’s too late. Years earlier a wife was supposedly killed by her husband on the yacht’s maiden voyage, and her spirit is still rumored to haunt anyone that comes on board. As the party continues, the drugs start kicking in and sex picks up in every corner of the yacht someone (or something) starts murdering the partygoers. Jane and Lacy are left fighting for their own survival.

The story has a lot of potential to bring something special to the slasher genre, but the yacht gimmick isn’t used to its fullest potential. The movie is obviously going for the supernatural slasher vibe, and a giant, supposedly haunted yacht is perfect fodder for “jump” scares but the director never takes advantage of this. There’s little to no tension as a result.

The other problem with the story is the obvious red herring that the writer and director try jamming down the viewer’s throat. This red herring is pushed more in Killer Yacht Party than in any other slasher film I’ve seen. It makes it obvious that this Character X is not the killer early on, again robbing the viewer of possible tension.

There is a wide range of acting talent seen in Killer Yacht Party . Marion does a nice job with her role, and is given the most developed character of the bunch. She is the type of girl most people would want to hang out with because she’s sweet, funny and has a Midwestern charm. Her best friend Lacy is the complete opposite, a total club girl. She has sex with anything that moves, wears clothes that show off her best features and is generally a terrible friend. Boxer plays one note throughout the entire film (the slutty seductress) but this is more a problem of the script than Boxer’s work. She is gorgeous, but that is the only memorable feature of her character.

The one actor who is consistently strong throughout is James C. Burns as the Captain. He is interesting and mysterious right from his introduction, drawing the audience towards him. His character isn’t deep but is perfectly acceptable for a slasher film. Burns builds one of the two memorable characters on the boat as it becomes why his resume is the deepest of all the cast members. Some of the other actors appear decent at first but fall apart when it comes to investing any sort of emotion, leaving it ring incredibly fake. This is the mark of a detached actor; if the actor isn’t connected with what is going on to their own character the audience can’t either.

Killer Yacht Party was shot on a low-budget, and this shows up most prominently during the kill scenes. I expect a lot of blood and gore from a movie when it is released from Troma Entertainment, but Killer Yacht Party doesn’t deliver. There is blood, but it is light, and the special effects are boring. A lot of the kills are edited so that the audience only sees the aftermath, which is exciting maybe once or twice. Gorehounds want to see the entire murder, not just the hook sticking out of the throat with a bit of blood. Before I popped Killer Yacht Party in my DVD player, I expected the special effects work to shine, but this aspect is one of the most underwhelming in the film.

Aside from a random killing in the beginning of the movie – which is never really explained – it takes a good hour before Killer Yacht Party takes off with the murders. If the buildup to this moment were more fulfilling for the audience, this wouldn’t be a problem. Instead, the viewer spends an hour getting to know a lot of soulless partygoers that are forgotten seconds after they’re murdered. Maybe with a stronger start, or a more justified/important killing at the top, the pace wouldn’t suffer as much as it does.

Killer Yacht Party reeks of another independent film that doesn’t live up to its potential, and is incredibly mediocre. Its use of a lot of standard slasher film stereotypes doesn’t make it worth watching. There are hundreds of other slasher films that exist merely to pay homage to that ’80s era of horror that are a lot better than Killer Yacht Party , and slasher fans should seek out those films instead of this lackluster effort.

Killer Yacht Party is given a widescreen presentation with a 1.78:1 aspect ratio. The DVD looks fine, but one will never forget that they’re watching a low-budget horror film. The 2.0 Dolby Digital Stereo option works just as well because the film is not heavy on loud sound effects. The dialogue never gets lost either, which is enough for me to deem this audio option perfectly sufficient.

Commentary by Writer Alex Silver and Director Piotr Uzarowicz : These two have a great repartee, and are never at a loss for something to talk about. They go into detail about the casting of the film, and expose some secrets about the filming of the movie. This is a good commentary, and exactly what fans of Killer Yacht Party would want to hear.

Slideshow (0:24): Various still shots of the movie are shown for a whopping 24 seconds. This is an absolutely pointless special feature.

Trailer (2:17): This is a decent trailer for Killer Yacht Party that successfully nails the vibe of the film without giving away too much information.

Troma T & A (2:07): A woman messes up her lines for a minute, talking about things she obviously has no idea about (like Chaucer), and then takes her shirt off and “plays with [her] ta-tas” at Kaufman’s request.

Exclusive Preview from the Upcoming “Produce Your Own Damn Movie!” Box Set: Have Your Own Damn Base of Power (11:50): Subtitled “Creating a new Hollywood in Indiana with Bill Dever and Lloyd Kaufman”, this special feature is about a couple of guys who are trying to establish a film industry in the Midwest. This is fascinating for someone like me, who is constantly looking for acting work, and makes me hopeful that the Midwest will eventually become a hotbed for filmmaking. Dever may be the largest name in Indiana right now, but there are plenty of other people throughout the Midwest that are also trying to establish it as a serious contender in the movie making world. Seeing as this is my home region, it is exciting to hear Dever, and the others from the set (including Texas Chainsaw 3 director Jeff Burr), talk about his plans for the film, entitled Resurrection .

Hermaphrodite PSA (1:32): Lemmy from Motörhead hosts a silly PSA that stars Matt Stone and Trey Parker (the South Park creators). It is pro-hermaphrodite, and good for a quick chuckle.

Net Neutrality PSA (3:18): Lloyd Kaufman does his best to convince the viewer that net neutrality is positive, and he spits fire at the government. This is the most serious I’ve seen Mr. Kaufman, but there is still humor thrown in to keep it true to Tromatic fashion.

Radiation March (0:54): A “what the hell did I just watch” anti-pollution commercial featuring dancing kids in yellow jumpsuits, and a load of sunglass-wearing adults, moving their heads to the beat.

Troma Trailers (21:44): Includes trailers for The Toxic Avenger (3:11), Poultrygeist (3:16), Blood Junkie (2:01), There’s Nothing Out There (2:30), Blood Oath (1:48), Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (3:36), Tromeo & Juliet (2:12), and Class of Nuke ‘Em High (3:10).

The Toxic Avenger tells the tale of a dork turned superhero that, despite his grotesque looks, saves his town from the bullies and bad guys that used to kick his ass; Poultrygeist is about a giant killer chicken; Blood Junkie is an 80s slasher throwback, filmed today, using 80s costuming; There’s Nothing Out There is an early Scary Movie /mockumentary film that looks hilarious; Blood Oath is another 80s slasher throwback, but set today; Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. is about a detective who turns Japanese and becomes a superhero; Tromeo & Juliet is a modern, Tromatic take on Willy Shakespeare’s most well-known tragedy; Class of Nuke ‘Em High tells the tale of a high school that is slowing turning toxic, both literally and figuratively.

All of the trailers look interesting for different reasons, and are excellent additions to any Troma release.

This mediocre slasher film is one that I would only mildly recommend if it were available OnDemand or through Netflix’s Instant Queue service, but nobody should go out of his or her way to see this movie. The special features from Troma are great, but the ones that apply directly to the movie are hit or miss. Killer Yacht Party fails to stand out in any dramatic way, and I am stuck encouraging slasher fans to look elsewhere for his or her next bloody fix.

Troma Entertainment presents Killer Yacht Party . Directed by: Piotr Uzarowicz. Starring: Maggie Marion, Becky Boxer, and James C. Burns. Written by: Alex Silver. Running time: 85 minutes. Rating: Not Rated. Released on DVD: May 10, 2011.

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Killer Yacht Party Reviews

...the viewer has completely checked out by the time the first kill sequence rolls around...

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4 | Oct 7, 2011

• Chaotic Evil
• Hand of Death
• Hero's Friend
• Live Action Villainess
• Makeshift Weapon
• Mass Murderer
• Murder: Bludgeoning
• Murder: Burning Alive
• Murder: Decapitation
• Murder: Electrocution
• Murder: Impalement
• Murder: Indirect
• Murder: Severed Jugular
• Murder: Stabbing
• Villainous Reveal
• Fate: Inconclusive

Jane Doherty (Killer Yacht Party)

Jane was also revealed to have a long-time crush on Gavin (who was also a guest at the party), with Lacy encouraging Jane to talk to him despite her reserved nature. While Jane and Gavin appeared to connect during a conversation together, Jane lost interest when she caught Gavin receiving a lap dance from Monica (the girlfriend of party host Brock). Jane also fought with Lacy after she chided Jane's desire to leave the party and was left furious when she caught her having sex with Gavin.

Throughout the film, an unseen figure was shown killing off partygoers, with the ghost of the yacht's previously owner (who was murdered on the boat by her husband) being suspected of being responsible. However, the film's progression ultimately revealed the true culprit: Jane . After seeing her encounter with Gavin, Jane turned heel by attacking and stabbing Monica to death with broken mirror shards. The evil Jane then went about killing several other party goers, donning a pair of black gloves during her murder spree. After catching Gavin and Lacy having sex, Jane proceeded to kill her former crush using a hook, stabbing him in the crotch and slitting his throat, with his body falling into the water. Jane then briefly locked Lacy in the freezer while she stabbed a busboy to death with a knife, opening the door just before Lacy discovered Gavin's body in the freezer (having been retrieved by Jane). After running outside and finding the busboy's corpse, Lacy hid inside the oven when she heard Jane approaching, allowing the scorned villainess to kill her friend by using her knife to jam the door before turning the oven on, burning Lacy to death.

A fire then broke out, and as the partygoers attempted to flee, Jane blocked the doors to the party room with an oar and rope, leaving the partygoers to burn to death. It was then that Jane found herself confronted by Chance, a drug dealer who had snuck onto the boat to steal money from Brock and who had managed to escape the fire with only a burned hand. As the bloodied Jane clutched an oar, Chance told him how there was a killer on the boat, with Jane feigning tears before dismissing the belief that the previous yacht owner's ghost was haunting the ship and killing people. Chance then attempted to take the oar from Jane, only for her to strike him with it and fight him off when Chance tried to attack her. After seeing that Chance had managed to steal some of Brock's money before fleeing the fire, Jane snarled that Chance was "just like everyone else" before bludgeoning him to death with the oar and escaping the burning yacht in a life raft.

Jane was later found by a fisherman and picked up by an ambulance, telling one of the paramedics that there were no other survivors; with her phrasing that "everyone on that list was dead" indicating Jane's heel turn and killing spree was done out of resentment against the VIP partygoers. Shortly after that, however, Fiona (one of Brock's employees for the party) was revealed to have survived as well as she was taken into the ambulance. As she looked at Jane, Fiona--who was revealed to have psychic abilities--recalled having inadvertently sensed Jane's heel persona after touching her hand, causing her to realize she was responsible for the massacre. Fiona's revelation about Jane and pleas to be let out of the ambulance were ignored by the paramedics, and as Fiona was tended to by a paramedic, Jane stated that she just wanted a fresh start and was thinking of going to Seattle to check out the music scene, with the final shot of the film showing that the medication Jane was shown taking earlier in the movie was lithium. Jane's ultimate fate is left unknown after she and Fiona were taken away in the ambulance.

Victims [ ]

• Monica (stabbed to death with glass shards)
• Unnamed couples (throats slashed with hook and impaled together with metal spring)
• Dante (shot with flare gun)
• Brock (startled into falling into machinery)
• Candy (decapitated with wire)
• Mandy and Sandy (stabbed to death with meat cleaver)
• Gavin (stabbed in the crotch and throat slit with hook)
• Unnamed captain (set up to be electrocuted by malfunctioned equipment)
• Unnamed busboy (stabbed in chest with knife)
• Lacy (burned to death inside oven)
• Partygoers (trapped and left to die in a fire)
• Chance (bludgeoned to death with oar)

Gallery [ ]

• 1 Elise Simon (Devious Nanny)
• 2 Linda Dupree (Widow On The Hill)
• 3 Dr. Lane Hunter (The Resident)

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Killer Party (2014)

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• Sex & Nudity (1)
• Violence & Gore (1)

Sex & Nudity

• None 1 of 1 found this to have none Severity? None 1 Mild 0 Moderate 0 Severe 0 We were unable to submit your evaluation. Please try again later.
• Couple heard having sex off screen. After which we see female in her bra Edit

Violence & Gore

• Moderate 1 of 1 found this moderate Severity? None 0 Mild 0 Moderate 1 Severe 0 We were unable to submit your evaluation. Please try again later.
• Several killings seen as comedic with blood spraying around and no wounds seen. Edit
• Mild 1 of 1 found this mild Severity? None 0 Mild 1 Moderate 0 Severe 0 We were unable to submit your evaluation. Please try again later.

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